George: You can do better than me. You could throw a dart out the window and hit someone better than me? Elaine: No, I mentioned the bisque., Jerry: What could possess anyone to throw a party? I mean, to have a bunch of strangers treat your house like a hotel room.

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George: Just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it. Jim Fowler [appearing on Kramer’s set of The Merv Griffin Show]: Where are the cameras. Kramer: Yamahama, it’s fright night! Kramer: Is there a tree? Frank Costanza: No. Instead, there’s a pole. It requires no decoration.

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George: I don’t really celebrate Christmas. I, um, I celebrate Festivus. Kruger: Vemonous? George: Festivus, Sir. George: Yeah. I figured since I was lying about my income for a couple of years, I could afford a fake house in the Hamptons? George: Instead of doing a wash, I just keep buying underwear. My goal is to have over 360 pair. That way I only have to wash once a year. Elaine: I know Jerry. He’s not a Nazi. No. He’s just neat. Elaine: Perhaps, there’s more to Newman than meets the eye.

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Seinfeld ipsum dolor sit amet George: I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable. Puddy: I painted my face Elaine: You painted your face? Puddy: Yeah. Elaine: Why? Puddy: Well, you know, support the team. Elaine: It’s very hard being a stand-up comedian. Sometimes they don’t laugh.