The Many Voices of Pride

Can you tell us what it was like growing up?

I grew up in the suburbs of London, out in zone 6 and it was perfectly fine. I went to high school there, went to university in Warwick. But wasn’t out. I went into investment banking as many graduates do, they were great people but I didn’t feel like I could be my natural self. I was always kind of making up excuses or making up stories. I still wasn’t out.

Eventually I ended up at Uber. Going into the Uber offices in San Francisco and seeing other people like me, and the fact that Uber is a young company with a lot of young people in the business, to me felt a bit safer. I was among young peers and it felt more likely that I would be accepted.

I went to the first mixer drinks for pride at work. The fact that the event took place in the first place, made me feel like I belonged. I walked in by myself thinking “oh my god who’s gonna be there.” Then everyone sort of turned and said “hey who are you, how are you doing?” and it just felt like home.

Tell us more about the Uber ERG

So Uber has always had an employee resource group for LGBTQ+ employees. As an American company, it started over there. When Uber were looking to get a European chapter up and running, I raised my hand. So the ERG exists for the employees of Uber and also helps to shape the business decisions of Uber.

Do you think we need more education around the different LGBTQ+ communities?

I think a lot of people associate pride with a flag, with being gay or lesbian or maybe trans. As we go forward there are more definitions and it’s fantastic to see that you can be yourself despite the stereotypes that exist. It’s not just about the rainbow flag. The fact that we’re now seeing more than just one flag is great it’s not just about being one label, it’s about being who you want to be.

How do you identify?

I’m intersex and I think one of the hardest thing for me over the past three years was this, um, pink box / blue box of being male and female and wondering where do i fit into that? And actually, I don’t have to fit into that, I’m the person that I am and I’m proud to be intersex.

Can you tell us a bit more about your journey?

About three years ago, I met Intersex UK and Holly Greenbury who told me that I was a very special person. From that, I met other intersex people and started to love and accept myself as Jeanette, as being intersex. For the first time in my life, I felt complete. I felt that I was somebody who could love myself. And through that, I’m now in a position where I’m a senior activist for Intersex UK, where I talk to families and older people who are intersex who have never had anyone to talk to.

Now I’ve got a great support network around me. I’ve got lots of intersex family and I just feel like anybody, whether you’re gay, transgender, whatever, you have that right to be loved and accepted as intersex.

Tell us about your first Pride experience

Until I was asked to go last year in July, I hadn’t been to Pride before. I met for the first time, a load of intersex people and I realised that I had a family around me, people who were supportive and caring for me. But far beyond that, I felt so proud, I think it was the best day of my life ever, to be a part of not only Intersex UK, but the whole Pride experience. I just felt so proud and honoured and for the first time I was amongst friends who understood me and accepted me for the person that I was,

The yellow flag with the mauve circle, what does that signify and what does it mean to you?

I can only speak for my personal experience but I think that the yellow is like, a light, it’s a light in the darkness, a light coming out into the world. The mauve is the circle, it represents to me a group of people coming together. For me, that’s what the intersex flag stands for; a community coming together as one, joining together as intersex, spreading the light so that people can come out of the darkness, like myself and be proud to be intersex.

What was it like growing up for you?

I had a good upbringing and have a very supportive family. I wasn’t always very open with my sexuality growing up. I only came out a couple of years ago to my parents, which was difficult. I’m half Jamaican, half Ghanaian, so it’s not the easiest thing to talk about or even to accept. So it was quite a tough journey for me but I believe now I’m at a much more comfortable stage. I can openly speak with my parents, but yeah it was definitely a tough one. Over the last 2 years I’ve become a lot more accepting of me as a person and what I stand for. It took me till my later 20s to feel more comfortable.

Can you tell us a bit about Black Pride?

Black Pride doesn’t just represent black people, it’s for people of colour in general, any minority groups. It began because there needed to be a voice for the voiceless. Those that were part of the minority groups coming together and supporting each other and having a space where urban, reggae, any type of sound relating to the black community could be expressed and there are so many other things that have gone into it, it’s more than the day and festival, there are seminars and workshops and conversations that happen throughout the year to support those within those minority groups.

Which of the Pride flags do you identify with?

I identify with a few of the Pride flags, one being bisexual and the other Black Pride. I’m not the biggest fan of labels or flags, people should just be able to be who they want to be and exist and not have to think about. I think it brings its own segregation in itself but those I would say are the two flags that I represent.

I think it’s very important that there are different flags to represent the different people within the queer community, just so there’s understand and no blurred lines, esp from an outsiders point of view. It’s important to understand who someone is and how to address someone and know how to conduct yourself because I think there’s a lot of fear from the unknown.

Tell us a bit about you and what it was like growing up

Growing up I was always really feminine. If my mum had a dinner party I’d come down in a bra with two oranges as breasts and put on a show. I had long hair and was terrified of getting my hair cut. Everyone used to call me a girl and thought I was a girl. Then I got nits and had to shave my hair off! As I got older and went through secondary school, that’s when I started really being like “Oh no I’m a straight man.” I suppressed who I was, my gender and sexuality. I didn't know what I was so, I tried to blend in to survive. It wasn’t until a lot later that I flourished and understood a bit more about who I was and I started to explore.

Can you explain what gender queer means?

If there’s 7 billion people in the world, how can we identify as one word? It’s very restrictive. Genderqueer for me means that I fit somewhere in this grey area. This grey area is somewhere I’ve been for a long time. I thought I had to be at either point A or point B, that’s why it took me so long to come out and find out who I was. I thought “I don’t fit here.” I realised that genderqueer is the grey area and it’s a great place to be.

What do you think of the Genderqueer flag?

I feel it’s amazing there are so many different flags. I’m genderqueer and there’s a genderqueer flag too. There’s so many ways of identifying ourselves. Throughout history we’ve always been here, we just have language and visual representation now to show that. These flags are an amazing way of finding yourself and communicating who you are to the world.

When did you first realise your bisexuality?

I think I became aware of my sexuality very early to the point where I was wondering “ok, everyone is saying I should only be crushing on guys but I have crushes on girls too, I don’t know what’s happening. In Canada we have LGBTQ sex-ed which I don;t think happens here but we learnt about all the letters of the LGBT (at that point the Q was not added) and when we got to the B the teacher was like “bisexual is someone who likes both men and women” and I blurted out in the middle of class “omg that’s me!” and i was 13 and not ready to come out of the closet. I was treated very differently in class. And I sort of went back in the closet. I didn’t really mean to come out of the closet, it just kinda came out of my mouth.

Were you treated differently after that experience?

Yes, especially by the girls. They didn’t want to change in front of me in the changing rooms which made me really uncomfortable. That’s the one thing that’s hard about being bisexual. Sometimes you experience the violence of male sexuality towards you. You don’t want to put that energy across when you’re engaging with women or when you are attracted to them, so I find it’s a balance.

What does having a flag that represents your community mean to you?

The rainbow flag exists and I think that’s great but I think it’s equally as important for each individual LGBT identity to feel represented. Having the bisexual flag as something I can wear. It gives me that extra bit of visibility and an extra way of presenting myself and my sexuality. It’s something I’m very proud of.

I’m an actor, performer, singer-song writer, and theatre maker and it’s so great to see bisexual characters now being represented and bisexual actors playing them. It gives me hope not only for my career as an actor but also my life as a bisexual person to have that visibility and to have our stories told instead of being erased.

Can you tell us how you identify?

I am a lesbian, a dyke, genderqueer, homosexual woman out and proud.

Tell us what it was like being born in Athens and then coming to London?

The gay scene in Athens was very tiny. When I came out I disappointed a lot of people, I mean that’s the story of our lives, but then I gained a lot of friends and freed myself to be who I wanted to be. When I came to London that’s when my life began and that’s the reason I grew up here.

Can you tell us your understanding of the history of Pride and what it means to you?

Pride is a protest. Pride is a riot and this is how it started. Let’s not mince our words or dilute history. It started with trans women of colour, simple as that. It continues to be a protest and riot but it has changed a lot especially when corporations have seen the opportunity to make some cash out of this.

Our community is big but it’s also very small, it’s fragile but it’s also very very strong. We need to have respect for the people who got us here and we need to teach young ones how to get there. The only thing we’ve got is the now, so from this day onwards we have to do the right thing and the right thing is to choose love. I love my sisters and brothers equally whether they are non-binary, gay, lesbian or trans, we’re all in this together.

Why is it important to have a human rights flag?

Human rights are the rights of humans to health, education, clean water, to a roof, to medical care. From my life time to beyond we’re represented by this flag so we can stop this abuse, we can use our human nature to do good things. So, I believe in the flag because it’s a reminder to the ignorant people of what it means to have human rights.

Tell us a bit about what you do at Uber

I’m the Senior Greenlight Expert in Sheffield. My job is mainly to help existing and new drivers get on-boarded with Uber. I normally deal with council regulations as well so it's a little bit of everything, but mainly making sure that Uber is running in Sheffield and making sure it’s successful as well.

What protocols are in place at Uber to educate drivers on how to treat LGBTQ+ people properly?

When drivers onboard with us, we give them a presentation which explicitly describes that if they've been seen to discriminate in any way in relation to sexual orientation, religion or anything relating to that. They'll be brought into the office and we will deal with it in an appropriate manner. If it continues then we will take serious action against them.

Do you think that it's important to educate drivers in more detail about the different flags and identities that encompass the LGBTQ+ community?

I think it’s important to educate drivers on the range of flags that exist within the LGBTQ community. It’s really important that they understand the different variations so that when they talk to the people that get into their cars every day they can relate to them better. Similarly, we might try to understand them and their background. So I do think it’s super important that we create that communication where they can understand where we’re coming from and understand the different flags.

Can you describe what gender fluidity is?

Gender fluid is when someone doesn't really identify as either gender or they might feel they are both genders, or in between that. One day they could more masculine or more feminine and that's something I definitely identify with as well. When I identified as a lesbian, I didn’t really feel like I fitted into that category. I felt like it was hard being a lesbian and growing up, people discriminating against you and not really fitting into that box. It was kind of distressing to me. So when I found out about gender fluidity, it was a massive relief for me. I felt like I finally found somewhere where I could relate to it and as I read up more about it, it just made me happier.

Can you tell us how you identify?

I define myself as gender blind which means I don’t see gender. I don’t consider the gender when I’m attracted to a person. For me, being pansexual means being free to love a person without caring about their gender, sexual identity or how he defines himself or herself or themselves.

At 20 years old you represent a younger generation, do you think it's easier to be a queer person now?

I think the younger generation don’t believe in labels anymore. As a queer generation we are coming into a brighter future; it’s much easier to come out, especially in an environment like London. For instance, we barely go to gay bars or specifically gendered places anymore. In a way we are re-appropriating spaces and penetrating the mass media; taking part in it, absorbing it and making it a normal thing.

When was the first time you went to Pride, and what does Pride mean to you?

The first time I went to Pride was when I was 14 years old and there was a huge parade in my city. It was a fun time and interesting to see drag queens wearing classical Neapolitan dresses. To me Pride means being whoever I want to be, wearing whatever I want to wear and liking whoever I want to like. It’s the acknowledgment and recognition of all our struggles and fights every day and every year.

Why do you think the 15+ flags are important?

I believe the flags give you recognition and strength to believe in who you are. If I’d never seen the pansexual flag I would never have realised it was a thing, I would just think it was a kink or fetish but it’s actually about being yourself and knowing other people experience the same thing.

Tell us a bit about your journey

It wasn’t until my best friend’s younger sibling came out as trans (they’re a few years younger than me) and I saw how understanding their family was of them and supportive. But I remember that feeling of being 14 or 15 and thinking “that’s what I want.” But I really really shoved that down and I really tried to be a girl. I grew my hair out, I plucked my eyebrows really thin (apparently that was a look!) and I stayed like that until I was 18. Then I went to university in Brighton and my first term there, was easily one of the best experiences of my life. Suddenly I was surrounded by queer people, other trans people, who were so happy and successful and fulfilled being who they are, they allowed themselves to be happy. For so long, I was denying myself happiness, trying to force myself to be something I wasn't.

Tell us about your experience of Pride

Last year I went to trans pride Brighton and that was incredible. It’s so different from London Pride and Brighton Pride, it's entirely its own thing. It's not commercialised, it's just about the trans community, it was just the most wonderful atmosphere.

Which flags do you identify with?

I identify with the bisexual and the trans flag definitely. I think the trans flag is the main one for me. There’s this amazing quote by Monica Helms who is the creator of the trans flag that goes something like “the pattern is such that no matter which way you fly it, it’s always correct, which signifies us finding correctness in our lives” . I think that’s such a powerful message because essentially that’s what being trans is. It’s about living our lives as authentically as possible, being true to ourselves and not allowing other people to dictate our happiness or our rights to our own bodies.

Can you tell us how you identify?

I identify as asexual and aromantic. Asexual means you don’t experience sexual attraction or
you experience a very low degree of sexual attraction. It’s a spectrum, so some people do
experience it a bit more than others. Aromantic means when you don’t experience romantic
attraction either.

When did you first understand what asexuality or aromanticism was?

I noticed it around the time everyone’s hormones kicked in and boys and girls started to fancy each other. I assumed this would kick in for me but it didn’t and people started to take notice. It was only when people started questioning me about it, that I had to start working out what was different about me.
Did you know anyone else like you or see anyone else like you represented in the media?

Did you know anyone else like you or see anyone else like you represented in the media?

The only time I saw people sort of like me represented in the media was bad guys in movies - it’s usually the awkward ones with no social skills who don’t experience sexual attraction. I couldn’t relate to those characters and the unfortunate thing is that it shaped other people’s views of what asexual and aromantic people must be like, and I had to battle against those stereotypes. If you don’t experience sexual attraction or romantic attraction, society teaches you that there must be something severely lacking in your mind and in your life.

Can you tell us more about seeing asexual people represented at Pride?

There is definitely a lack of asexual representation at Pride. Unfortunately there’s still a debate within the wider queer community about whether we’re supposed to be included, whether the A is for us, and whether we should be at Pride. So it’s something which needs to be improved. I definitely still support Pride as it is today and I think in doing that I bring the representation for asexual people that I’ve always wanted to see at Pride.

Can you tell us what the asexual flag means to you?

For me, the flag is our unifying symbol. If I ever see that flag flying I know there is someone I can relate to. It doesn’t matter how old they are, what ethnicity they are, what nationality they are, how long they’ve know they are asexual for or where they are on the spectrum, it’s just a big umbrella for everybody.

Can you tell us a bit about what you do?

I work for Uber as an Expert down in Brighton. The role of an expert is basically to assist our partner drivers, get them on the road, help them with any issues they’ve got going, keep traffic moving, keep Brighton and the world moving!

Have you ever had any issues with drivers because of people's sexuality or religion?

I think if there’s lack of understanding between partner drivers and the queer community, it could just be a cultural thing or something they’re not exposed to. I don’t think it comes from a place of malice on the whole, I just think it’s something that needs to be educated about and can hopefully can change.

What steps do Uber have in place or would you like to see put in place to increase understanding and awareness?

I think Uber do a really good job of supporting the LGBTQIA team internally. I there’s lots of communities and groups within Uber internally, there’s Uber Pride and other communities. I think as a corporation they could be doing more to be more inclusive, but I think they’re doing a good job. In terms of improvement Uber can keep doing what they’re doing, keep supporting Pride, help their partner drivers become more aware of the cultural differences.

Do you support as it is today and how it's evolved?

I do support Pride as it is today. It’s great that people are coming out, showing themselves who they are, and it’s kind of spreading the message to the wider community that look, we’re here, we’re queer. It is a shame that obviously it’s more corporate and less of a protest, we obviously still need to protest and stick up for our rights. The things happening, even a couple of weeks ago in London, on the London bus shows that we still need to fight and to tell people that it’s not cool to be homophobic.

I think Pride to me means, being yourself, telling the world that you don’t give a shit what they think, and you have every right to exist, you’re here, you take up space, you’re valid.

When did you first realise you were aromantic?

I first realised I was aromantic when I was in a very long-term relationship and realised that I was being very cold and couldn't feel the romanticism. I was very worried that there was something wrong with me, so I did some research online and found the description of aromantic. From digging further, I realised that there was nothing wrong with me, it was just the way I am. An aromantic is someone who doesn’t get involved in romantic situations, it’s more physical.

I think being aromantic makes you realise who you are, but we are also very different in that everyone can be who they want. You can identify as aromantic but also be asexual, be gay or straight, it’s just finding your community or tribe.

Tell us a bit about what it was like growing up

I grew up in Mexico and Mexico is a very romantic country. There’s lots of romantic songs and telenovelas and movies. You’re always being told you have to be romantic, your main goal is to bring up a family and have that dreamy life. I tried very hard, being in romantic relationships and having boyfriends, looking for that life of having dogs and kids and a big house in the countryside. I realised that's just not what I want and not what I feel. I always felt different but I was always myself, I was lucky not to have lots of homophobia in my family, I was very accepted.

When I was younger I didn't think I needed Pride or to express myself in that way, but now I feel that it's very important to make a statement and fight for our rights because there's lots of people struggling to come out. Showing this power gives other people hope and strength to go through very hard times.

Which of the Pride flags do you feel you identify with?

I identify with the new LGBTQ+ flag, the one that has the new black, brown, orange triangle stripes on the side. I think it’s really cute and inclusive. I also identify with the aromantic flag, it’s very green and very environmental and that's something I support a lot and work closely with. I think it's important to have flags so that people can feel like they belong to a tribe or community and not feel lost or lonely.

Can you tell us what it was like growing up and when was the first time you felt like you belonged?

I grew up in Italy until I was 13-14 and I never felt like I belonged when I was over there. Then as soon as I moved to London, because it’s such an amalgamation of different cultures and people, I felt more at home. Everyday I spend with my friends and the queer community I learn and discuss things that make me feel a lot more safe.

What do you think you learnt about gender from doing drag?

Starting to do drag taught me to look at gender as a construct and how society looks at it. Drag helped me moved away from that. On a day-to-day basis, even without doing drag, I step away from the whole idea of gender. One of the things I love most about drag is the way that we play with gender and how there is no real definition of gender.

Tell us about Pride and why it's important to you

Pride is important because it’s about visibility. We need to show the rest of the world that we are here, that we are visible, that all genders and all flags are important because there are some countries where it’s still illegal to be who you are. A lot of the time when I’m in Pride I like to learn from other people and teach others what I know.

Can you tell us what it was like growing up in Ireland and when you first felt like you belonged?

I grew up in Northern Ireland which is quite conservative and I have a Catholic background, so being gay wasn’t exactly ok. I didn’t come out until later in life when I went to university. I would say the first time i felt like I belonged fully was when I moved to Barcelona when I was 21. I found my tribe; people who have the same interests as me and the same sexuality.

How did you come to understand what polysexuality was and to identify with it?

I’ve only started to identify as polysexual in the past year. I’d never heard of the term until I started my new job; I work for a queer inclusive polysexual dating app. I think if I had been exposed to polysexuality more than a year ago, I probably would have come out as polysexual a lot earlier. I just didn’t know the term existed but knowing what the term meant really helped me understand who I was attracted to.

Can you give us an anecdote or a memory of Pride for you?

I would say the best Pride memory I have was last year was when I walked with my company in the parade in London Pride and I was with my friends. One of the most special moments for me was seeing families in the crowd, seeing young kids and families cheering in the sun, it was really beautiful and I almost cried seeing families cheering all the gay people because I’ve never seen that in my life.

What does having a flag that represents the polysexual community mean to you?

It’s really important for every community to have their own flag, so everyone feels included. With the original Pride flag it didn’t always include every gender or sexuality, so a lot of people didn’t feel fully represented or included. So, I think it’s important to have multiple flags to represent every community within the overall umbrella.

Were you always aware that you were non-binary?

Ever since I was a child, I neither identified with male or female pronouns. I probably questioned if I was transgender at one point, then had a realisation that I’m very comfortable in my physical self. I don’t want to change physically, but I do identify on the inside, spiritually and mentally, as female.

Non-binary is quite new to my vocabulary. The power in the word non-binary for me is that it doesn’t describe one or another, it’s very open to interpretation by the person who identifies as non-binary. It wasn’t until I heard the word non-binary and met other people identifying as non-binary that I was like “Wow this is me, this is how I identify”.

How do you feel about people asking you questions?

I am absolutely fine with people asking me questions about my sexuality and gender. This is quite an uncomfortable conversation for a lot of people. It's about consent and respect when we are asking people about their identity. If someone looks uncomfortable when you ask them a question like that, you need to know when to step back and go “Ok that’s not an issue”.

Can you tell us your feelings towards Pride?

The history of Pride is something that’s really important to me because I feel like we are rewriting it. I think it’s really important for queer history to be told and for brands who want to use the queer agenda to show their openness to employees and those who are buying their products. I think they have a huge responsibility to be teaching our history and that we never forget the struggles that they’ve been through.

Do you identify with any of the Pride flags?

I feel like the sense of community is being fractured by putting ourselves in different boxes by having a lesbian flag, a gay flag, a non-binary flag, a trans flag. Within us, we have shade, colour, we have everything, we are all infinite creatures and I think it’s really important to not take something like our gender and sexuality and allow that to identify us as a full being.