Now that Barack has all but secured the Democratic nomination, he's been able to let his guard down a little bit. Rather than giving another boring campaign speech, Barack decided to do a little stand-up comedy routine about the Clinton's. His smack is off the hook and off the chain all at the same time.
This weeks Unibrow Fart of the Week comes courtesy of Mitchy 369 on YouTube. Mitchy decided to put together a compilation of his best farts and it's nothing short of a symphonic masterpiece. In his spare time, Mitchy enjoys lighting his butt hair one fire and making fun of old people with disabilities.
It's a big responsibility being a superhero babe. Either you have superpowers and you're super hot or your the girlfriend of a superhero who doesn't have enough time to deal with your girly crap and constant mood swings. Fortunately the major qualification for both is being super hot and having boobs. Fortunately for the rest of us, they couldn't resist the Hollywood "take your top off" mind manipulation superpowers and they showed us their super boobs.
Today's Bonertown Hottie of the Day is Italian beauty Asia Argento. Asia spends most of her time being naked and showing off her breadsticks and bottomless salad bowl in a lot of those foreign-type movies. Asia tells Bonertown that her favorite hobby is clam diving in the spring and that she hopes to one day have sex in a Chuck-E-Cheese bathroom.
While I feel it's very important to shout out every instance of 69 that you come across in life, this weatherman took it a little too far. Properly pointing out a 69 is a freedom that we should never take for granted. If you're on interstate 69 or your team just scored it's 69th point, it's perfectly acceptable to shout it out. Prostituting the term like this heartless bastard is purely unacceptable and we should find a way to set his cat on fire.
Having gigantic boobs is awesome, but it makes a lot of things in life really difficult. It's impossible to run a marathon topless without knocking yourself unconscious. You also can't bend over without falling over and it's impossible to get a job because you're actually qualified. In the end, having gigantic boobs can be a tragic story. You are no longer a person, you're just a gigantic pair of boobs. And God bless all of your tragic souls.
