Her name was Theresa and we saw each other quite often. She was friends with my friends so we hung out at sleepovers and dances and such, and we got along pretty well. But I didnt know her that well. She hung herself 2 years ago exactly; she was only in 8th grade. It seriously upset me but I moved on.
Today I was going to go visit her grave with some friends when at the last second I decided I would just stay home. I wasnt in the mood for something as depressing as that. So i called my friend and told her I just didnt feel up for it. It seems horrible to say but I just dont want to have to deal with that. I'm in a good mood today and I like my life right now, and I just dont feel like being all sad and pathetic. I moved on, and I dont think I should let her death get me in a bad mood.
Is it wrong to want to forget about these types of things? I feel as though she's watching down on us and smiling because we all think about her so much, shes a superstar now. Everyone says they were her best friend.
Good to know that if i ever want attention all i have to do is die.
Sooo... I was born Catholic, I went to Catholic grade school and Im in catholic high school right now. My family is extremeellyyyy Catholic and I always was too. I go to church every sunday and Im a lector. But all of a sudden its just not making sense anymore.
I mean I got to thinking about it and religion is just a bunch of people who share the same beliefs and have faith coming together. But what is faith? I always thought it was like a gut feeling, was believing without seeing. But there seems to be a lot of seeing. I mean I grew up learning about religion in school, learning about Jesus, learning that God was there. How am I supposed to have faith if its taught to me in a classroom, and Im tested on it like its fact? I was never given the choice to have faith, if I questioned it I would get a stern talking to from my crazy aunt mary hahaa.
And like..idk the catholic church just seems really hypocritical. They say we should be humble, but then look at the vatican!? Why dont they sell some of that stuff and feed a few hundred people. I also think religion is for the simple-minded. It's not having faith, it's just going along with the majoritys beliefs. It's saying some prayer that makes no sense to you over and over again so that you dont go to hell. Hell, haha, i think hell is about the biggest bull Ive ever heard. I mean, if God loves us so much and always gives us second chances, why would he send us to some place to burn for all eternity? I think it's just a fear factor to scare people into joining the church. I think the whole things corrupted.
Don't get me wrong I think there's nothing wrong with religion, and people who follow it strictly. I just think I should have my own ideas about god, because I know as much as the rest of you; absolutely nothing. I can only make my own guesses. I dont know lol, am i making any sense at all?
