(Abstract is an excuse for a lack of form)
You don’t really care
But for now I cant think
My conviction was strong
And that was my burden
So I stumble and I say goodnight
To the hostel slumber
And the stirrings drenched in agonizing sweat
I’m gracefully deteriorating from the pain that I was dealt
I attend and arrest the resonance of you waning away
And I ignore it as it pilfers any exhilaration I have ever known
Let the liquor devour us both
As it is the only way that we can feel
Have forty winks, my friend
Because you’re dead to me now
Its just me and the sky
The tedium of the dance you taught me
Makes it arduous to breath
Self control was never my strong suit
My voice hush
My hands trembling
And I promised myself that there was some meaning here
You were the paramount of memory
And the only reason that ive fallen
And cant find the strength to get up
the reason my back is broken
And the reason I cant find a motive to care
I hung too tightly on the mortality
That came from every word you ever spoke
And just as im getting away
you bring me back to the horrible reality
That it was always like you said
Haunting me with the memories of something
That only happened
And that never transpire
Wrapped in what could have been but never was
The crude and disappointing reality
That I have only the sky to reproach.
And its pathetic leaving me alone with the sky
Because no one will cognize that I enjoy the torture
That I find comfort and solace in the fact that
My life has gone to shit
Female became a four letter word
Buried, branded deep in my hatred
What I so clung to as a child
Became that the only thing between me
And the fucking sky
I hope you rott in the sky
I hope you burn in the atmosphere
As you find your way back to earth
I hope that when you cut it doesn’t bleed
I hope that when you drink you don’t get drunk
I hope that when you fuck you don’t cum
I hope when you talk no one listens
And when you scream no ones there to tell you
That you were ever wothsomething
It made me smile
To see that you were the one who was dying
That the four letter words
And the lack of sky
Finally got to you
I love to see you tremble
I have always thought you were beautiful
only this time I wont stop breathing when you do
Ill just plunge into the sky
Ill fall asleep.
And hopefully when I wake up
This will all be over.
