ladystrawberry

I finally changed the look of my room. I was so sick of living in the exactly same looking room for 7 years. I'm in a really creative mood the last few days and I'm still, so it was really about time for some changes. I took of my Jim Morrison Megaposter, postcards, old pics and a lot of other stuff and have to say these little changes can totally alter the style of your room. The old chair that I got from my parents and my bed got new blankets and pillows - so comfortable! Oh, and I also bought a clothes rail which is now standing right next to my guitar and my bed - full with my favourite scraves, hats and bags. And whats best I finally found space for all my sunglasses.

As I said before I've been in a creative mood, so I decided to make something unique with my walls... and I came up with these cute little puppy/animals as posters.

I love them. I've got those designs on my mind for a while now and my biggest dream would be designing Shirts with those little puppys. And I also kind of started that. I made a shirt. For a first try I think it looks very well.

So, I haven't written a word in quiet some time now. I guess it is because I've been working a lot lately... I know this is a bad excuse, but I also hadn't much interesting stuff to tell. Still working on some new songs an thinking about the right direction and style... The new stuff I wrote with good friends is definetly different to what I did before (musical wise). It's new, electro-rock-ish and modern. I love it. Unfortunately I can't present any of that stuff here. It's still a big secret! But I'll keep you posted with news about my music as soon as I've got something new to present. For checking out my music (that I did so far) just visit: www.myspace.com/jenniferstevensmusic

So I turned 24 a week ago. A year for each hour of the day. I like to put it that way! =) And of course I did some shopping, because everywhere there are those big signs saying "SALE" to me. And I can't resist, because here in german the summer just got started and I love all the bright colours, the dresses, shirts and skirts. Lo-Lo-Love it. Last things I bought were a pair of vans from ROXY and a cute HELLO KITTY-Dress. I'm planing to wear it today.

I'm planning to buy a new labtop. A smaller one. A pink one. This is the object of my desire!

Ain't nothing more to say. I'm gonna go eat some ice-cream now and relax in the sun. And this are some of the songs of my soundtrack for summer, which are yours?

1. MGMT - Electric Feel (The video to the soongs is just amazing - like a fairytale)

2. Jason Mraz - I'm Yours

3. Natasha Bedingfield - Pocketful Of Sunshine

Can you remember those days, when you feel – when you know - nothing will be like it was before, because you finally understood you can’t live or get along with certain things anymore? For me there have been a lot of such days or situations lately… Everything’s changing, but nothings changing for the better and I don’t know how to go on, where to go or how to make it better. I’m staring out my window for hours feeling empty and sad – like when all your hopes have vanished right before your eyes. So I’m sitting there lack of feelings, full of feelings – crying. And suddenly you realize all you’ve done and all you wanted to do lost its purpose. Nothing matters anymore… It’s all the same and all you wanna do is scream. Scream to feel better. Scream to feel free. Scream to be heard. To be understood. Does that sound sick to you?

I don’t know if it is right to write about my feelings this way… but I need to know if there’s somebody out there who knows how I feel, who knows what I talk about. Someone who experienced the same emotions – cause damn – I feel so lost and alone. There’s no one I could talk to. Well there are a ton of people to talk to, but… I’m simply wouldn’t. I’ve got good friends, I love them, but I wouldn’t even dare to open up or to talk about all that what is on my mind – so much more than I writing down here by the way. I feel stupid for doing it though… I just wish there’d be someone who takes me into his arms, who would tell me that everything will be alright – someone who could put a smile upon my face…

Tell me, do you know this feeling that’s feeling like there’s a hole in your chest, a hole in your throat – like something’s missing. A bit like being nervous and curious before entering stage, but in a bad way. Yeah, there’s something missing and not just in my life – I think it’s love. Where is the love? Where is the love?

Just 3 weeks left until the holidays and I can't wait for it to arrive. I'm so desperately longing for summer, meetings with my friends, doing crazy things, writing music - enjoying life! I'm still not sure whether I want to make trip to London or to Paris. I've been to both cities before, London was 2 years ago, but Paris... I think I was like 14 or so, when I was there? So what do you guys think? Which city would you prefer, I can't really decide...

How time goes by... it's almost july and so I'm turning 24 soon. Sometimes I kind of feel old... but in fact I can say I haven't grown up yet and I'm not planning to. It's like: this summer I totally want to do something exceptional, something crazy, something special, something you remember all your life... Know what I mean?

So, PARIS.....

or LONDON....

Finally summer has arrived here in germany and I enjoy the beautiful weather, even though it is almost too hot. Especially in my little appartement right under the roof... So, two weeks ago, I was working in the studio on a new song and I have to say it is brilliant. I really love it. It sound definetely different!!! Different in a good way. Positive and Outgoing. hopefully you all get to hear it soon! So cross your fingers!!!

Oh, I just discovered this funny song.

I know I suck at writing regular posts...

I don't know why, it just happens to be so. It's not that I don't have anything to say, maybe it's because there's too much to say. But nobody cares anyway, right? I'm just a small part of this crazy thing called life. Playing my part, playing the game. Can anyone tell me if I play the game the right way? And by the way how has anyone the right to tell how it is played the right way? Go get lost in all the possibilities! Things that seem to be all wrong in general can totally work out for you all alone. I guess everyone needs to figure out which mistakes to make, which ways to go, which dreams to live and most important who to be. But isn't that the hardest part of it all? To know who you wanna be? To know who you are?

Everything's changing so fast and so you do, too. So how can there be a plan for life in general? I guess that is impossible.

I seriously need to learn how to relax. I simply can't stop thinking about stuff and working on something unless I think it's perfect. Cause i always want everything to be perfect. Is that crazy? Maybe some yoga would help me out???

It feels like I've never had holidays before university started last week. Best thing about that was - watch out this is meant to be ironic - I've practically been really sick. Bronchitis, Tonsilitis, Fever... my head, my throat... everything hurt so bad. And on top of that I was coughing like I'm gonna die within the next minute. I'm feeling better now... Still coughing, still speaking in some strange voice, but I'm better.

So today, after my classes, I spend my time running from one library to another searching for all the different information for my papers which basically are:

1. Woodstock - The Hippie Aera

2. Homosexuality in the Antiques

3. Something about Gryphius / E.T.A. Hoffmann

4. Something about Google, Wikiality, etc.

Sounds like fun? Hm, not quite sure about that... I'm definetly happy to have all the material, so I can start writing. I'm that kind of person, that can't slow down if there is - and it can be the most little thing - to do. Sometimes I think I need to do some yoga, so I can relax!

So, since I was sick the whole last week, I finally got time to read some of the books I got from the library some time ago. Those books about the "Art Nouveau", the "Dandy" and the "Boheme". And I have to say I was quiet inspired. So this is some of the stuff I made, while I was sick, staying in bed.

Some fashion related collages, some drawings:

In one of those books I also found this beautiful poem of Felix Dörmann. Strangely I never heard of that guy before... It's from 1892 and it is called "Was ich liebe" (What I love):

Ich liebe die hektischen, schlanken

Narzissen mit blutrotem Mund;

Ich liebe die Qualengedanken

Die Herzen zerstochen und Wund;

Ich liebe die Fahlen und Bleichen,

Die Frauen mit müdem Gesicht,

Aus denen in flammenden Zeichen

Verzehrende Sinnenglut spricht;

Ich liebe die schillernden Schlangen

So schmiegsam und biegsam und kühl;

Ich liebe die klagenden, bangen,

Die Lieder voll Todesgefühl;

Ich liebe die herzlosen grünen

Smaragde vor jedem Gestein;

Ich liebe die gelblichen Dünen

Im bläulichen Mondenschein;

Ich liebe die glutendurchtränkten,

Die Düfte berauschend und schwer;

Die Wolken, die blitzdurchsengten,

Das graue, wutschäumende Meer;

Ich liebe, was niemand erlesen,

Was keinem zu lieben gelang:

Mein eignes, urinnerstes Wesen

Und alles, was seltsam und krank.

Isn't that beautiful? I really, really like it. So, since the headline to this blog says "Inspired in any way". Here is something or better someone / some people who inspire me in all things fashion. The lovely Agyness Deyn (I don't know how, but this girl manages to look gorgeous in every single picture, no matter which clothes she wears. I think she would even look cool, when she was wearing the clothes of my grndma... She has an amazing style, a great fashion sense. And if I wasn't such a coward, I would also try her hair do.) and Irina Lazareanu. Check their style below:

Sooooooooooooooooooo cooool!!!
(none of the pictures of Agyness or Irina belong to me)

First day of university after the winter-holidays. Thankfully my first class starts at 2pm. Enough time to write a new post. So much happened... When I got back to my little flat I started to reorganize my wardrobe and a lot of things found their way right into the trash bin. And if this wasn't enough, yesterday was an "Open Sunday". After cleaning up my flat, my Mom and I went to the city. Did a little shopping!!! Got some cute pieces. I'm waiting so desperately for summer. I'm so sick of this cold, grey winter-weather. I need some sunshine and blue skies.

So, last thursday I went to Hamburg for a very important meeting. I'm feeling so good now, finally something happens and I can get into producing and recording music again. I feel like I could fly! After that meeting I went straight to the DOCKS and saw "Simple Plan". It was one of the best, if not the best concert I've ever been to. They were great, just great. Can't explain it any better! If they come back in autumn for some concerts, be sure I'll be there again!!!