i have it.





pink punk temporary tattoos from claire's.
love them.

and yellow is my new favorite color.




so it's official,
i audution for american idol on august 19th.

THE BIRTHDAY MASSACRE
1. this story's missing a wishing-well, no mirror to show and tell, no kiss that can break the spell, i'm falling asleep. every prince is a fantasy, the witch is inside of me, her poison will wash away from memory. -- kill the lights.

2. your hands are always reaching out of favor. your kind are only good for bad behavior. your mouth was never one to trust. you're always speaking out, falling far behind, falling out of line. -- falling down

3. my words are falling apart in spite of me. i'm stepping out of the light so she can't see. don't think i'll miss her, but i want to take her picture. when i found a place where she can't find me. and she's falling asleep as she's walking with strangers. talking cheap as the flies on the wall entertain her. -- walking with strangers.

if you need more reason to check out myspace.com/thebirthdaymassacre
i'll post more tomorrow.

If not, then someone better call Guinness, quick.



I did my first official day of work ever today.
I'm a councelor at a day camp, working with the three and four year olds.
It's tiring, it's boring, my voice is high pitched and happy all day.
but it's 8 weeks for like $950. so i'm okay.
the chain is for the bus i'm a councelor on. we're gonna decorate it and make it cute for the kids. i'm gonna let them color and we'll put their artwork up, the whole deal.

First thing i did when i got home was watch a really fucked up movie on Encore. I'd heard about it and wanted to see it, it was on, i watched it. just to get myself back to reality.
I tell ya, kevin spacey officially creeps the fuck out of me.




This band opened for Mindless Self Indulgence on friday night in NYC.
I gotta tell you, they were phenomenal. They're all i've been listening to since i got home from the show.
It was like i told their guitarist
"If the band members are nice, it's automatically a good band".
And i went home, and it turns out they were.
They put a smile on the little goth girl residing within me.
I won't act like she's not still there.
God i feel like i'm freshly sprung from seventh grade again.

myspace.com/thebirthdaymassacre

just give them a listen.
they're on iTunes as well.
for songs on their myspace, i recommend...well, i'm really into pretty much all of the songs on their myspace player except for "blue", "goodnight" and "science". But if i had to recommend the top three, i'd say "walking with strangers", "happy birthday", and "video kid".

a rainy day in new york city...
never lasts long.


Because i only go into NYC for three things:
1. concerts
2. plays
3. wandering.

and you can't wander in the pouring rain.
i did get some cool photography though;

So i got to go see Mindless Self Indulgence yesterday at Terminal 5 on 56th street in New York City.

i took the train in at 2:18 for a 7:00PM show, but oddly I wasn't the first one there. I met a few kids sitting on the sidewalk also waiting for
the show. Here's a dumb video of the boy, Vin, reading the Sex Q&A from Seventeen Magazine. Everyone loved the fairy wings i made. I had plans to throw them up on stage because come on, look at them. You really think Jimmy wouldn't wear them? So that's why i wanted to get there early, to be against the barricade for an easy throw.



He was so funny.
kayleen was wearing my wings.

But yeah, then we for real got on line and I met Juliet and Meghan, so we were just hanging out, then Courtney Lara and Alexis showed up. I gave Alexis her ticket and we got to go in. All Good All Good.



Now we weren't the first ones in, but we all got to be right against the barricade !! I'd never been so close before. We were a little to the right but whatever, we were on the side that LYN-Z ALWAYS PLAYS ON.


So the first band was Julien-K. I don't really listen to them but i saw them play on projekt revolution 2007 and they're a good live band. God, their lead singer got HOT. Lara and i were like...obsessing over him. He was dressed in all leather, and was shirtless by the end of the set. Videooo:

At the end of the set, the lead singer and the keyboardist went backstage and came back out with Julien-K CD's, and the keyboardist got off the stage right in front of us. I got a CD and i was like "you rock, can i have a hug?" and he's like "maybe later". So he gives out the last CD then comes back over and gives me a really good hug and everyone starts screaming for hugs but he just walkkkssss away. Band dudes love me. =]



So then this band called What What Where played and...they were pretty terrible. But at least they looked like they were having fun. No one really paid any attention to them. Whatever.



Then there was this band called The Birthday Massacre. And there were a lot of people there in birthday massacre t-shirts and stuff so i guess they were pretty popular, but i'd never really heard them before. THEY WERE AMAZING. I loved their lead singer; a girl named chibi. she's so interactive with the crowd. Like, if a guy in sunglasses waved at her, she'd make circles around her eyes and blow a kiss back. And alexis kept making me throw her bracelets to Chibi, so chibi now has like eight of alexis's bracelets. no lie.

And of course, out came MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE.
My god they were so amazing.
And lyn-z...ohhhh my god.
I love her.
Like, for real.

And we didn't really have a plan for getting the fairy wings on stage, so courtney just started waving them around. Finally i was like "COURTNEY, GIVE." and I just hurled them on stage. They landed right at Lyn-Z's feet and they just stayed there for like three songs. Then all of a sudden Jimmy picks them up and we're all like OH MY GOD but then he just throws them back by the drums.
We're like dawwww.
Then during the next song, he puts them on !! Oh my god i FREAKED. He was wearing them upside down but whatever. Video of them:
All you can hear is me and Courtney screaming "OH MY GOD THOSE ARE THE WINGS" and screaming with the song but whatever. He threw them back into the crowd after like three songs but it was still awesome. Got to watch my babies flyyyyyy.

JImmy's Wife Chantal [lead singer of the band Morningwood] came out and did guest vocals on "Get It Up". They're cute in the weirdest way.
I loooooved her outfit.


And they played my FAAAAAAVORITE SONG ever. "prescription". And lyn-z did her signature back bend towards the end of the song. During the song, Jimmy came OFF STAGE and right onto my side of the crowd. you can't really see it in the video because i had the zoom on and you can't change the zoom level during filming, but you can see his spiky head every now and then. Man i sound annoying.

Soo right after the song, lyn-z stopped moving on stage for like two minutes so people could take pictures, and she was looking in my general direction and i blew her a kiss and she blew me a big one back and i was like AHHH.
And so i randomly screamed.
"LYN-Z MARRY ME"
and she was like "What?" and walked to the edge of the stage and in my head i was like ohhhh shit but i was like "will you marry me?" and she was like "Oh my gosh!" and like, covered her mouth and everything and then was like "uhmmmm YES!"

so sorry gerard way,
your wife and i are engaged.
you loooose boy.

but i really do like her.

but after the show, like half the crowd left and half stayed, and steve [guitar] came out to say hi! and i didn't get a picture or anything i was like "steeeve let me get a hugg from the coolest rock god i know". i mean come on, he played half the set with electrical tape over his eyes. and he was like "auhhhh come here i'm gross" and he was a big sweaty mess but i gave him a big hug anyway and ahh i got soaking wet i was like "ahhhhhhhhh okay then".
but he was nice. Then jimmy came out and EEEEVERYBODY wanted a piece of him. and i got really close to talking to him: this picture had no zoom.


but then meghan was like "LYN-Z IS OVER THERE. LYN-Z IS IN THE CORNER" and i was like "KAY BYEEE JIMMY". and ran over to her. I felt bad because she was litterally back against the wall and people were closed in around her. i was like "Give her some airrrrr"

and then i realized that one of the guys from The Birthday Massacre was like right behind me so i was like "WOAHHH HI BIRTHDAY MASSACRE" and he's like hey.

Me: You guys were really cool. Like, i'd never heard of you guys before tonight and you rocked. What's your name?
Him: My name? My name is...Doctor Rocket. [found out his name is really Michael]
Me: haha okay.

So then courtney wanted a picture with him, then alexis got one, and i went back over to him i was like


Me: But yeah, really good job.
Mike: You're like, inflating my ego so much right now, it's bad.
Me: oh well, that's what i do. Hey can i get a picture too?
Mike: Yes you can! Come here let's act like we're married. Let's cuddle.
I come out horribly in pictures. Especially when i just spent three and a half hours outside in the heat, and four hours inside moshing in the heat. But he was so nice.


So then i got to meet lyn-z and i almost passed out. I think she could tell because she was really sweet.
And we took a picture but someone started talking to her, so in the first try she's looking away because she pays attention to everyone, but it was okay because i looked really bad in that picture anyway. so we tried again and i still look terrible but she looks really good. she always does. i'm a tool. and she squeezed my hands while i was talking to her, and i thought i was gonna die. she's like...ugh she's amazing.

Then she kept on getting mobbed for autographs and pictures and stuff. and she kept saying she had to go she had to go. best part was she was like "GUYS, I HAVE TO BE IN CANADA IN LIKE FIFTEEN MINUTES" and courtney really wanted a picture but she felt bad and i was like "just go, just do it." so she and lara got in a quick picture with her that i took.






people so owe me for my mad picture taking skills.





And she was litterally about to run and she saw me and she was like "byee!" and i was like "wait can i have a hug?" and she was like "YES" and ran right over to me and i started babbling like an idiot i don't even remember what i said. but she hugged me until i was done talking. I said something along the lines of "i just think you're really amazing and pretty and talented and i'm on the verge of like crying" and she was like "aww" and i was like "because i've waited like two years to meet you" and she was like "THEN SQUEEZE ME TIGHTER!" and she totally took the air out of me and i didn't even realize how nervous i had been to touch her until she did that. And like, god she hugged me for a really long time. That was a good 30-40 second hug. and when she let go of me she was like "ohh...i love tall girls". i freaked out. i mean, she was like...an inch, maybe two inches shorter than me. and i hate being tall. well, maybe not anymore. And then she was like "okay, i'm out. bye everyone!" and no one else got a shot at her. =]

I spent the next five minutes leaning against the wall for support. I'm not cool at all.

So then we went back over to meet Kitty, and i told her my dumb short story.


Me: Yeah so like a year ago, some friends and i tried to start a band even though none of us could play, and they stuck me on drums and i was like What? hand eye foot coordination, i do not do. So my friend was like "pick a drummer you really admire and keep them in mind" and i was like "Can i be kitty from mindless self indulgence?"
Kitty: Aww! That's so sweet!
and she even told alexis that she thought that was sweet. And i love my picture with her !! It's my favorite picture from the whole night.

So then there like, literally eight people left to meet Jimmy, but the venue security was getting annoyed and wanted to go home, so suddenly jimmy just gets up and walks away. Whatever. Jackass. gone.

So that was it.
Best night EVERR
i guess i'm unofficially engaged to Lyn-Z Ann Ballato-Way?

so, this is what happens when i'm bored, and have the digital camera i've always wanted:







i get mistaken for "scene" all the time. i have nooo idea why.
my eyeliner is only on my, well, EYESm my hair isn't coated with enough hairspray to protect me from an atomic bomb, i'm not an egotistical slut, and i have a personality.

but i'm damn good at looking scene.
too bad i only ever look scene when i'm bored, or to make fun of it.

i got bored tonight while my mom was out and so did this:






































it actually makes me LAUGH to see how little this looks like me WITHOUT makeup. this doesn't even look like me with the amout of makeup i usually wear.

i spend a lot of time on my appearance, but honestly, i don't have the patience to do that hair all the time. i also don't have the money for all the hairspray and eyeliner it requires. and doing that mega eyeliner goes against everything i know about tastefull makeup.

what i learned today: i should never do that look again.


ohhh to be pretty without makeup !!

this is Pomegranate Contemporary Literature. She's the facebook daughter of me and my friend Maddie with the make a baby application on facebook. how cute is she? haha.

she was named based on a Q&A on the Fall Out Boy Website:



This is Daisy Shimmer and Powers Aiden Alexander. They're both the children of me and my friend Alexis. They're my absolute favorites everrr. Daisy Shimmer is a fairy with purple hair so she's basically me from seventh grade, and Powers Aiden Alexander is a trademark emo teenage boy, right down to his skinny jeans and Gaskarth headband !!