whatever bitter film school student cursed natalie portman to settle down with a hobo due to jellousy of her exquisite acting sucess should buy themselves a lottery ticket as it actually happened.

"hey there little sexy pig, youve made it with a man.

but now youve got a kid with hooves instead of hands"

Shes now "going steady" with my favourite kooky bearded songwriter. devendra banhart.

i have as much shame calling him a hobo as the shame he feels walking around town in penis glasses. none. mainly because he actually was a hobo 5 years ago before he was "discovered" selling quirky poetry on street corners.

I just find it funny caz natalie is such a sophisticated wise beyond her years mature actress but she lets loose in his new video clip for "carmencita" where she plays an indian princess who turns into an octopus!

while devendra plays a humble "cripple crow" of a servant who can shoot snakes from his third eye, wins her over, becomes king and "entangles himself in the embrace of her tentacles for all of eternity"

aww.

the video is a tounge in cheek homage to cheesy bollywood films, its so colourful and packed full of bad engrish subtitles i had flashbacks to the "evil marharaja" scene in moulin rouge (although i must add devendra pulls off smokey eyeliner much better than kidman) hes actually not that bad looking when hes rocking a 5a clock shaddow rather than housing a nest full of baby birds in his chin for the winter. much like the time my bestie and i were so disturbed at a black keys concert a few yrs back by dans newly acquired fuzz we were willing to nip nextdoor to the 7/11 buy a disposable and shave him on stage. (facial pubes!)

click to see him dancing around in his undies:)

im sure she was attracted to his childlike-carefree spirit but only time will tell if the sensible shoed natalie will stick around with a dude "that needs help to blow his nose, and count his toes" due to his peterpan tendencies, "from my daddys sperm, till im packed in an urn, im a child"

oh zooey, you make death look like so much fun!

from skipping around with an axe in her wedding dress, hemoraging in a blood pile ,lying ontop of a piano with her throat cut, getting trod on by M.Ward and her carcass being eatten by 50's snow-white esque vultures. she & him's new video would be very distrubing but because the soundtrack is so twee and zoey is so cute watching her die is strangely pleasant.

mainly caz she dies in clumsy ways. starlets these days could learn alot from her.

take peaches geldof. you would think because she lost her mother and stepfather at a young age to drug abuse she would have more than enough reasons to stear clear from all that bad stuff for life, but yet she frolicks around town with two of the dirtiest -not so -secret junkies in england. Scabby Pete Doherty and "im going to get an std from just looking at" Donny from the towers of london, gets caught snorting speed on video in the girls toilets and was taken to hospital and had to be revived from a drug overdose this morning. tssk. tssk. young lady. i would not want to be around when her dad gives her a talking to! perhaps as punishment he could ban her from seeing her rumoured boyfriend -farris rotter. i refuse to believe they are actually going out caz they have simply been caught walking around town together wearing matching outfits and showing off their handbags. thats not really a relationship if you ask me.

is farris her manbag, or is she his? dont know who this guy is but check out his suit!!!

ahh perhaps he is the upcoming handbag designer from camden and he has choosen farris and peaches as his muse and spokespeople!

but then again it does look like the horrors lead singer has the awful job of lugging her makeupcase around town when peaches goes clubbing and she wants to apply another layer of awful nana makeup. bet they call each other before they go out to make sure they match!

then there is amy.

( !!!comedy gold!!!)

who apparently only has 3 months to live. doctors have diagonsed her with cronic emphesema which is something 80 yearold ladys who smoked a pack a day since they were 12 die of. As do asbestos victims and coal miners who's lungs close up. many people have speculated she must smoke a truckload of crack a day to get that bad but if you ask me i think your lungs would close up too if you used that much hairspray :p

on a lighther note, here is a video from a band that alot of people speculate are off their faces to create tunes like this, but to me deerhoof are like this naturally.

if you like athmospheric, zany yet magical music like the track above you may like to lose yourself in the helio sequence. their drummer pulls the most disturbing and zany faces whilst in motion, you may start to think he has escaped from a mental ward too. but he has what i call the "keith moon effect" where he is concentrating so much and is so lost in hitting those beats he doesnt realise what his face is doing and hence looks like he is in pain... i would love to of been a hobo on a cold winters night in portland sleeping in an underpass and waking up to this band filming this clip wearing fairylight suits.

"1,2,3,4 monsters walking across the floor, i love counting-counting to the number four"

(anyone else think she is a dead ringer for dexter's sister?)

hmm i wonder if new buffalo had sesame st in mind when she penned that hit track for feist. dont remember the lyrics about chickens and penguins tho. nor do i remember james blunt 's hit "your beautiful" being about losing his beloved triangle. hilare!

since stevie wonder and johhny cash made guest apperances on the show in the 70's -more and more artists have tapped into a MUCH younger market or perhaps they simply enjoy taking the piss and live out a lifelong dream about performing with muppets.norah jones re-created her hit on the show with elmo called "i dont know Y" REM simuarly turned their hit shiny happy people into "furry happy monsters"and alica keys, destinys child and the backstreet boys have all made apperances. the worst has to be the dixie chicks (perhaps sesame st was the ONLY tv apperance their agent could secure after they got blacklisted for slagging off the president )

one of the most trippy childrens tv shows of late -YO GABBA GABBA!

(in which i suspect is actually a tv show for 20 something stoners who happened to get knocked up at a strokes concert and want to be able to watch a show with their kids without subsituting their impecable music taste along the way)
is all about promoting and converting toddler's minds to indie music before they get brainwashed by coventional media as The SHins and Shiny Toy GUns have all made guest apperances. their catch phrase is

"remember kids -listening and dancing to music is awesome!"

the shins teach spoilt kids to get over not coming first at musical chairs. "sometimes you win and sometimes you lose" soo deep. and the shiny's have a whale of a time in a banana costumes for a halloween special.

My favourite however is ANDREW BIRD as Dr.Stringzzzz!

before sesame st there was the electric company! and guess what famous academy award winning actor got his start on it?

"easy reader" the smooth talking funk soul brother -morgan freeman !
dont know about you but i think there is something going on between him and carmelita;) his catchphrase is: "Sounds righteous, delightious, and out-of-sighteous! Heavy, heavy [*finger snap*], heavy! Ha-ah!" look up vincent the vegetable vampire for more morgan freeman teaching the kids how to spell whilst having a bubble bath in a coffin!
now i cant possibly do a blog on muppets and music without going past one of my favourite videos of all time -SUPERGRASS!

As the sun begins to break through the winter clouds and the temperature starts to rise, so does the anticipation among the true party crowd as they gear up for the event that will kick off the summer festival calendar in truly unforgettable style: PARKLIFE.

Im so glad the organisers announced second release tickets caz i would never forgive myself for missing out on this line up:

Not only am i jumping for joy Goldfrapp is heading to our shores once more after a long hiatus,

but joining her is 2manydjs , Familjen, Van She,

Dizzee Rascal ,Diplo , blackalicious ,soulwax , elektrons , Neon Neon and a band i will always have a soft spot in my heart for (as they are named after my old public school! and would of sounded brilliant on the wedding singer soundtrack) -Grafton Primary.
most importantly the bands i will be battling tech heads and pill poppers for the frount row are......

!!!!!!DOES IT OFFEND YOU YEAH?!!!!!

!!!!!PEACHES!!!!!!

!!!!!!DRAGONETTE!!!!!ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

i cant believe i finally get to see my favourite androgenous british electro sexy-synth loves . im saving up for the sideshows too. you cannot simply listen to their cd a thousand times and be content with seeing them ONLY once.

plus some of australias finest djs will be showing the superstars how a turntable is opperated in the southern hemisphere with the likes of the bag raiders, van she tech, ajax and miami horror shakin their stuff on batman ave.

I had food poisoning the day of parklife last year and although i ran off the trains and trams to throw up several times beforehand thinking i might be alright for the rest of the day if i dont have anything else in my stomach to chuck up and sat down instead of danced, i keeled over in the line and couldnt get back up from all the stomach acid fewms. and missed out on seeing Digitalism, Goose , Justice, Greenskeepers, M.I.A , MSTRKRFT, the sounds, yelle ,busy p and Yacht. hopefully im not cursed this year caz sitting in a 4hour used portaloo for the entire festival is something no-one should ever experience more than once in their lifetime.

First up. "mercury" by Bloc Party.

intergalatic space monkeys create a half bull half lobster monster, send him through college and put him in the presidential race to take over the world.

yep. nothing random or nightmarish about that one. i wonder if the band members were in the apes suits this time as kele apparently was a robot in disguise for the flux video.

Im not sure whats trippier,

digging up still born babies in the sand, falling through walls and the floor, crawling out of a widows legs , the band piggy backing each other half naked or their heads exploding.

glad to see late of the pier's videos are on the same par with their new singles:

continously suprising and awesome!

yep i think they are officially my favourite band.

heres the live version they did for space and the woods.
glad to say they have been moved from the box of "hot new bands to watch out for / musical odditys" to THE band ill follow to the ends of the earth for. just like the first time i heard bloc party. love their accents so cockney!!

apart from the jose gonzalez clip above, this is the coolest and longest ad ive ever witnessed.

the song isnt that thrilling but ive watched it a few gazillion times and it has grown on me to some extent. the fact that julian casablancas, santogold and pharrell collaborated on a work together made me so excited i expected it to sound liquid gold. luckily they dont name check converse every few lines but the video is in the same vein as all the converse print and billboard advertisements weve been bombared with the last couple of months. but it is kind of believable that they would wear those shoes in real life (who doesnt?)

im loving santogolds mititary jacket and the paper dolls flipping and dancing but julian casablancas doesnt sound very strokes-y which is worrying as pharrell is rumoured to be producing the strokes4th album.

Its funny how many people regard the lead singer to be the master-mind and genious behind the band and overlook the other members in the shaddows. but i think when it comes to the strokes - it seems albert hammond jr has been pulling the strings all along . he is such an amazing songwritter, guitarist and continously suprises me with every song."yours to keep" was at first what i considered an impulse buy but suprisingly became one of my most played albums of 2006 .while the strokes is what i request on the dancefloor, dear old albert is what i have on repeat every where else. his new album is no different.

im seeing him in 10 days and hes just released a new video!!!!

its a great cover and pays hommage to a even greater man but seriously -iggy pop and jet ......in the same room?

some bands have infulences and heros and then some bands go the extra mile and stab them in the back by blatntly ripping off their most famous riffs . As much as i stood up for jet 5 years ago its hard to silence the critics when the bassline for their most promonent hit was more or less note for note of lust for life.i would not want to piss iggy pop off. even tho most his peers would be in reitrement homes right now, hes stronger and more peppy than ever. the concept of these two bands in a studio together is enough to make me crinkle my eyes up and roll around the floor but whatdoyouknow it happened the clip even shows them having a merry old time, handclaping away together, sharing booze like old chums.

I worked at the annandale when they filmed this clip and bonded with the guys due to our shared love of the stones, you am i and the mighty dallas crane. they were quite the sight back then, so sweaty and orgasmic screamy and so rawk. kinda wish they never got THAT big so i could go down the pub every couple of months and enjoy them as they were here:

im sort of glad iggy pop didnt chuck a tanty and slog them via youtube like tthe creaky boards lead singer did:
seriously man, AS IF chris martin would of been at your gig a few months ago. a few months ago"viva la vida"- the album would of been sitting in a warehouse then waiting for the marketing machine to take affect so they could churn it out worldwide. dont flatter yourself.

every once and i while i worry that out of the millions to billions of people out there who make music perhaps the amount of original songs out there will meet its end as theres only so many notes and chord progressions and ways you can re-arrange them. but hopefully that day will never come as when i think such thoughts another band pokes its head up and rattles me up with the new sound.

we were one body that one day fell apart...

you would be forgiven in thinking the cute nerdy running team from juno have started a band, but its not their penchance for riverdancing and competing in a three legged race by yourself that makes this video so special...

does the blonde haired lass with the broken arm and a neckbrace look familiar?

one of my best friends suprised me today with a free ticket to see this mystery lady (who is one of our favourite singersongwriters) as i put her on the door for kimya a while back.
ill give you a clue (the doorknob reveals all)....

yep before she became famous singing about ghosts, cheating , nightmares and depression (and chopped her hair off) she was getting hit in the head by shotputs as one fifth of the cutest british folk band NOAH AND THE WHALE doing back up vocals and whistling that would give peter bjorn and john a run for their money.

just as many now are discovering laura from her apperance on the mystery jets track "young love" i became a fan after stumbling across noah. in fact the very same embroidered "love" pillows that she lays down on for the mystery jets appeared in this video first. (anybody else think shes being serenaded by jermaine from flight of the conchords?)

this band really is a little gem in my record collection. its not just their wes anderson inspired videos, the ukelele solos, hand claps , accordians and flutes, or their matching schoolboy/ mexican mariachi band uniforms with synchornised dance moves that go down a treat with the old folks in the rsls. its simply because they make me feel warm and fuzzy everytime they get shuffled on my ipod. and kinda make me wish i could start highschool over again in a remote north england country private school and sit with the "un cool" kids if it means i could play the xilophone during lunch breaks for this band , make super8 horror shortfilms with them, eat crisps at the pub and go to the zoo with them on sunny weekends. because in hindsight it will be the best time of your life and im kind of jellous laura was there to do that with them. only time will tell if her headwill become inflated due to her fame and noahs predictions were right.

in five years time - i might not know you.

in five years time - we might not speak.

in five years time - we might not get along.

in five years time - you might just prove me wrong.

!!!!CSS new video!!!!

(and matching tattoos!)

these two are so in love it hurts,
what else will hurt is the removal of those tattoos should the pressures of fame or skanky new rave groupies tear them apart (over my dead body!!!) when it comes to tattoos my philosophy is only get one if it will still suit you (and look good) when your a respectable granny. (im sure lovefoxx and simon will still be up to myschef together in the old peoples home so they can pull it off)

in the news today i thought pharell williams had second thoughts about covering himself in tats as he was undertaking experiemental new treatment where scientists take a swab of your skin and grow it in a test tube like a skin graph and attach it over his old tattoos for a clean start. turns out hes not ashamed at all hes simply turning his arms into an etchnsketch so he can start again!!! vain much?
who gives a fuck about an oxford comma?

i have a new girl crush. dont get me wrong vaginas are disgusting but the place i held in my heart for patience has now been filled by a lass called florence.

about 4/5years ago the grates hit the airwaves with a demo they recorded in their dads shed. i thought they were the most exciting party snack since fairy bread and when they did their first gig in sydney at the annandale i was frount row center (not hard seeing the place wasnt packed) and fell in love with the adhd bouncy lead singer who seriously was the most geniunely nicest, cutest and sunshine-y-est person you were ever likely to encounter on this earth. the track bellow is a cross between the yeahyeahyeahs and playschool. that night they couldnt drive back to brisbane as the designated driving mum had to jet back in an emergency so they shacked up at my house. yes you heard right but as i was 16 and my parentals were NOT fond of me bringing stray band members home (no matter how technicoloured) they hid in my walkinwardrobe for a few hours till dad went to work and i stole them food from the pantry. we watched old reruns of pokemon on cheesetv and i showed them around the city instead of going to school .fun times.

well time has certainly flown by caz therye just about to release their 2nd album and are stingy on the details of the cryptic clues for their secert shows around the country as they are so hawt. the first track "burn bridges" is best experienced in audio first caz their video is abit to kooky even for me. but once you get over the exploding telephones, mashpotato mountains , futuristic squids, arctic explorers and treadmills the tribal drums and handclaps snap you back into it and you enjoy the remaining minutes until johns stomach explodes like a pinata.

like stated before i have a new girly crush,

although it was not love at first sight. i knew of florence welsh along time before i heard her music as she was dev's sidekick in lightspeed champion THEN i stumbled across a strangley bizzare and hauntingly bluesy number called "the girl with one eye" that creeped me right out but stayed in my head for days meanwhile my mate in london has been going on for months about a band called florence and the machine, he sends me a camera phone vid of her bouncing around, screaming her lungs and dancing away with not a care in the world and i realise its the creepy one eye girl. her outfit in this video seals the deal. those stockings~! the 90's floral shoulderpad shirt ,purple minishirt~racy red knickers ! and those dance moves~! wow-wee!

most of all i love how she simply skips around whilst singing about bashing up her lover "you smashed a plate over my head so i set fire to our bed" (very kate bush if you ask me -oh and i love the cold war kids and beirut covers shes done too!)

'she makes the kind of music that Lily or Kate would make if they had grown up in a cage full of snakes in the basement of a Louisiana funeral home'.

xoxo