Why me? Well clearly because my judgment is always beyond reproach. Not to mention the combination of my debonair looks that jells perfectly with my everyman quality writing style, reminiscent of Dave Barry or Marshawn Lynch. Or because it was my idea... one of the two.
Now, an ombudsman is supposed to be the speaker for the people. To give voice to their complaints and praise to the things the objective reader would enjoy. But, I must admit, upon the internal announcement of my appointment (which was not heralded with a crown, flower petals, and trumpeters like I would have hoped), I received some concerns from some of my fellow writers at Epic Carnival.